Will Your Child Have What It Takes?

Brian Zoubek arrived at Duke 4 years ago as one of the top basketball recruits in the nation. The same year Omar Samhan stepped on the St. Marys campus as one of the most unwanted recruits in the country. Initially, both players struggled to make a positive contribution to their teams. Whether you are the parent of a middle school legend or....more likely....a child who hasn't quite put it all together yet, you can learn from their stories.

The 6'11" Zoubek arrived at Duke on a wave of high expectations. It was easy to envision him playing at the next level. Samhan, also 6'11", arrived at St. Marys overweight and underdeveloped. Big men are scarce which may have been the only reason that he was recruited at all. Omar predicted that he would some day play in the NBA and was laughed at!

Their life stories had stood in dark contrast, but now they were confronted with the same reality.....it seems like everybody's big, strong, and talented. What do I do now! Zoubek's high school coach, Paul Wiedeman, was never worried about how his former player would respond. "A lot of kids would pout and blame others and then leave, he said. His values what he believes in, it all comes out when you are faced with difficult things." Dogged by injuries, Zoubek persevered and today is a key contributor for Duke's NCAA title contending squad.

Omar Samhan was not in a position to blame anyone for his plight. He had to sit out his first year and was so out of shape during his sophomore year that he would sometimes purposely foul so he could rest! His choice was simple.....get to work or gradually disappear. He chose the more difficult path and committed himself to becoming better. On Saturday in St. Mary's second round victory over Villanova, Samhan completely dominated a team full of former "blue chip" recruits. In a NY Times interview he explained how he had transformed himself. "There are very few people who are willing to work hard enough to be good, he said. The people who are willing to do what it takes to change that from good to great is such a small number. I want to be one of those!" St. Mary's coach Randy Bennett's comment on Omar's transformation: "He lets you coach him. Not all guys let that happen, they're pouty or don't handle it right. But he wants to be coached. These kids today can jump 40 inches in the air, but none of them know what it takes to have good footwork which is just to grind every day doing the same drills over and over. Do the same up and under millions of times. Guys don't want to do that."

When surrounded by athletes as good or better, will your child pout or grind? More importantly on day #1 of job one, will he be capable of flying solo? Unfortunately today's youth sports culture is producing more pouters than grinders. The suffocating structure imposed on prepubescent kids often prevents them from ever developing the ability to spread their own wings. Often parents become ensnared in the trap of keeping up with their peers in the race to advance their child. Demonstrating restraint to allow children to fight through difficult times on their own is crucial to their development. A young person who always counts on Mom or Dad to jump in and save the day, will blame others for bumps in the road later in life. Brad McCoy said it best: "Prepare your child for the path, don't create the path for your child." And we all know how his son Colt competes!