A Message For Those Of You Who Are Not Parents Of The Next Michael Oher

I really enjoyed reading an article by Lorraine Duffy Merkel "Mother Becomes A Devoted Team Parent" in yesterday's NY Times. Merkel writes about her experiences raising her son Luke in the world of youth sports. She rejects the notion of sports moms, "parodied on television wearing flippy hair and unflattering jeans, or else portrayed as alpha women who phone the coach on the field, as in "The Blind Side." She says that, "they bear little resemblance to the ones I know, and especially the sports mom I have become."

I think that Merkel is right on target. The majority of parents that I have dealt with do not fit the Business Plan Dad (or Mom) template, advocating goal setting for prepubescent phenoms. They just want their children to have a chance to play. I agree with Merkel's description of the typical sports parent. "We stand on the sideline or sit on hard bleachers, in all kinds of weather, to watch them play, she said. We also witness fickle crowds go from cheering, high fiving and sharing in our children's victories to scoffing, judging, and ridiculing because they are disappointed when our offspring fall short of exectations."

In that last sentence, Merkel is expressing the angst felt by so many parents. I can remember sitting in the stands experiencing the same roller coaster of emotions that she describes. Starting with T-Ball both of my boys did the rec and select thing for years. And when your own flesh and blood is out there on the court, your perspective inevitably becomes distorted. Yes some Dad is coaching my son's team. He is trying to coach this group of 12 year olds as if they were adults. Practices are devoted to getting ready for games vs development. It looks silly and at times can be over the top, but you know what.......my son loves to play and he's having a blast with his buddies! After a loss the parents are stewing and the coach is fired up to meet with the team to break things down. But the kids have already moved on. They'll pay attention because they are wired to please adults at that age. But they're really only thinking about two things......where are we going to eat and when can we go to the hotel pool?

Lorraine Duffy Merkel had no background (and little interest) in athletics until her son Luke began playing sports. I was obsessed with sports growing up and eventually became a college coach. Advantage Coach Moore? No because kids sports is about having fun and putting in your best effort while displaying good sportsmanship, not about coaching 'em up. Speaking from experience I can tell you that an athlete's future success does not hinge on his performance playing select sports during childhood. And when he is developmentally prepared to get serious, he had better be fresh and eager to compete. But who knows if your mightymite will even want to play sports in high school. So right now enjoy watching him play, make new friends, and don't forget the bathing suits!!