Happy Father's Day!

I have attached a link to a great article from this morning's New York Times,"Still a Fan, Just With a Shorter Favorite Player" by Christopher Harder about how he learned to balance two of his passions.....a love for soccer and quality time with his young son. His story provides yet another example of the thin line that all Dads walk between unconditional love and letting go.

Harder's life changed with the birth of his son Nicholas. His priorities were altered dramatically. Travelling to Germany to cover the 2006 World Cup with an 11 month old was not a prudent family decision. Playing in adult pickup soccer games became a rare occurrence. "Joining the fatherhood league felt like joining a new team in a new country where everyone spoke another language," he lamented.

But instead of trying to find more time for soccer outside of his home environment, Harder decided to share his love for the game with his son. "I bought us each a new soccer ball. I practiced the beautiful game with him and I practiced being a father," he said. Nicholas's ball was underinflated to make it easier for him to control. Eventually Harder invented games in the driveway that his toddler could play with him. At age 4 he signed Nicholas up for a weekly soccer class in part to encourage a "shy Nicholas to socialize."

Nicholas displayed a case of nerves on the way to his first class. "As I drove him to the park, Harder said, I talked up the class - in vain." When they arrived at practice, he did not force Nicholas to jump right into the action. He hugged his Dad "like a goalkeeper hugging a goalpost." After some nudging he "thought the better of it" and pulled back. After about 10 minutes, Nicholas joined the class. Harder stayed around to keep an eye on his 4 year old, but remained in the background to give Nicholas his space.

At this moment Harder began to think ahead to a time when Nicholas would "choose to create his own space between us, and how as he gains independence from us, I'll miss his company tremendously." On one rainy day Nicholas left the field to get a raincoat. As he slipped it on, Harder made a positive comment about his dribbling. "I thought he would stay by my side, Harder recounted, but he ran back onto the wet field, ready to play again. He likes to play in the rain. He's got what it takes to be a soccer player."

At this moment Harder demonstrated an awareness that escapes many young parents (including yours truly 21 years ago!). He understands how important it will be for his son to one day become his own person. He is watching the World Cup at home again this summer with Nicholas and can now "focus on the soccer field instead of Nicholas's every step." During the games he tells him "about the artistry of Spain and Brazil and the magic of Xavi and Kaka." He also tries to juggle his World Cup replica ball. "I flick it into the air and I routinely drop it, he says. But I always aim to keep my balance........as I step in and step back."

Now that's unconditional love! Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/sports/soccer/20cheer.html?scp=1&sq=Still%20A%20Fan,%20Just%20With%20A%20Shorter%20Favorite%20Player&st=cse